Quotes and Text Messages

Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital.

One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Ralph out.

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“Love is the gross exaggeration of the difference between one person and everyone else.” Anonymous

“Why is it that we don’t always recognize the moment love begins, but we always recognize the moment it ends?”

“A happy man marries the girl he loves; a happier man loves the girl he marries.” Anonymous

Blessed are they who have the gift of making friends, for it is one of God’s best gifts. It involves many things, but above all, the power of going out of one’s self and appreciating whatever is noble and loving in another. - Thomas Hughes

Friends hold both the power to excel your life, or destroy it. - Adam Murphy

MAHATMA GANDHI
I believe in equality for everyone, except reporters and photographers.

CONFUCIUS
Faced with what is right, to leave it undone shows a lack of courage.

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This is the lyrics of David Cook’s song when he won the American Idol Season 7 - “Time of My Life”.

“The Time Of My Life”

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An incredible love story has come out of China recently and managed to touch the world. It is a story of a man and an older woman who ran off to live and love each other in peace for over half a century.

The 70-year-old Chinese man who hand-carved over 6,000 stairs up a mountain for his 80-year-old wife has passed away in the cave which has been the couple’s home for the last 50 years.

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Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and most often in the tongue of the liar.

A person is happy if he has a problem and enjoys solving it.

Guilt: The inner voice that tells us that Someone may be looking.

Being single is cool. No worrying about anyone, no obligations and best of all, no heartaches. But you know what? If you will never get your heart broken, you will never learn to love.

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The Inevitable
Why is the cemetery like a lavatory?
Because, when you’ve got to go, you’ve got to go.

Which to Wag

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Speakers of the House

In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

Wish!

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Creation: A Brief History

In the beginning, God created earth and rested.
Then God created man and rested.
Then God created woman
Since then, neither God nor man has rested.

Whom to Let In First

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A big-game hunter went on safari with his wife and mother-in-law. One evening, while still deep in the jungle, the wife awoke to find her mother gone.

Rushing to her husband, she insisted on them both trying to find her mother.

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Some people don’t get any respect at all because they are asking for the respect they deserve.

You don’t marry someone you can live with. You marry the person who you cannot live without.

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Never rush in love for it never runs out. Let love be the one to knock at your door, so by the time you start to fall, you know that your feeling is for sure.

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A man went in for a Brain transplant operation and was offered a choice of two brains by the surgeon. He could choose either the Architect’s brain which would cost him £10,000 or the Politician’s which was £100,000.

“Does that mean that the politician’s brain is much better than the Architect’s?” exclaimed the clearly puzzled man.

“not exactly” replied the surgeon, “the politician’s has never been used.”