It’s good to have money and the things that money can buy, but it’s good too to check up once in a while and make sure that you haven’t lost the things that money cannot buy!

In love, there is always one who kisses and one who offers the cheek.

Being happy all the time is kind of boring.

When you love somebody, be ready to take the intensity of emotions. Be jealous, anxious. Love with all your might. Take the pain and everything that comes with it. Just make sure that the person is worth it.

It’s amazing how one person can bring you so much happiness and pain in your life. Maybe it’s really love knocking when he can make you so happy that you forget all the pains. So don’t forget all the happiness when he breaks your heart.

It takes three seconds to say I love you, three minutes to explain, three hours to demonstrate, three days to appreciate, three terms to produce it, but a lifetime to prove it.

‘Tis a common proof,
That lowliness is young ambition’s ladder’
Whereto the climbers upwards turns his face;
But when he once attains the utmost round,
He then unto the ladder turns his back,
Look in the clouds, scorning the base degrees
By which he did ascend. Shakespeare

The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, “Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?”

The first man approached him and said, “Sir, I don’t wish to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of pain is more than I’ve ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so deeply? A child? A parent?”

The mourner took a moment to collect himself, then replied, “My wife’s first husband.”

Harvey: “Pour me stiff one, Eddie. I just had another fight with the little woman.”

Eddie (bartender): “Oh yeah. And how did this on end?”

Harvey: “When it was over, she came to me in her hand s and kness.”

Eddie: “Really? Now that’s a switch! What did he say?”

Harvey: “She said, ‘Come out from under that bed, you gutless weasel!’”

“Look, I’ll give $100 if you’ll change the wedding vows. When you get to the part where I’m to promise to ‘love, honor and obey’ and ‘forsaking all other, be faithful to her forever,’ I’d appreciate it if you’d just leave that part out.” He passed the minister a $100 bill and walked away satisfied.

It is now the day of the wedding, and the bride and groom has moved into that part of the ceremony where they exchange vows. When it came to the part where the groom will say his vows, the pastor looks the young man in the eyes and says, “Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her, obey her every command and wish, serve her breakfast in bed every morning of your life, and swear eternally before God and your lovely wife that you will ever even look at another woman, as long as you both shall live?”

The groom gulped, looked around, and said in a tiny voice, “Yes.” Then he leaned toward the pastor and hissed, “I thought we had a deal.”

The pastor put a $100 into the groom’s hand and whispered, “She made me a better offer.”

One of the guys just won’t believe her, and so he says, “Ok, if you can really grant wishes, then double my I.Q.”

The mermaid says, “Done.” Then the guy starts reciting Shakespeare flawlessly and analyzing it with extreme insight.

The second guy is so amazed, he says to the mermaid, “Triple my I.Q.”

The mermaid says, “Done.” And all at once, the guy starts to spout out all the mathematical solutions to problems that have been stumping all the scientists of varying fields: physics, chemistry, etc.

The last guy is so enthralled with the changes in his friends that he says to the mermaid, “Quintuple my I.Q.”

The mermaid looks at him and says, “You know, I normally don’t try to change people’s minds when they make a wish, but I really wish you’d reconsider.”

The guy says, “Nope, I want you to increase my I.Q. five times. If you won’t do it, I won’t set you free.”

“Please,” says the mermaid, “You don’t know what you’re asking. It’ll change your entire view of the universe. Won’t you ask for something else? A million dollars or anything?” But no matter what the mermaid said, the guy insisted on having his I.Q. increased by five times its usual power.

So the mermaid sighed and said, “Done.”

And he became a woman.